They say

It’s never easy, they say. Struggle comes with rewards, they say. It will all come clear with focus, they say. Put your head down and work harder, they say. Trust your gut, they say.

Get out the rotary cutter, I say.

About two months ago I was between projects and didn’t know which way I was going as a next step. I had this ragged piece of thin cotton that I kept trying to iron flat . For some reason the wrinkles wouldn’t go away. So I decided to stitch them in permanently.

I just kept adding texture and color and pattern with stitch until I had a piece that was about 3 x 4 foot that made no sense at all. It was chaos and wrinkles and pretty little textures. A study in thread on a wrinkled piece of fabric. Ho hum.

Then I dreamed about pink rivers. Don’t know why. Just did.

The textures in the cloth reminded me of topographical maps and gridded land masses. The wrinkles stood in for the rivers. So I got out the rotary cutter and sliced and diced and added pink to the stitched cloth. I layered those squares with organza over a vintage tablecloth full of flowers because I had decided that I wanted beauty in my life that day, not worry. (I’m so tired of bad news.)

The squares looked great on the tablecloth and the organza gave me the opportunity to let the rivers flow underground. But when I stitched it all together it was a mess. The organza didn’t want to be layered, the tablecloth was wobbly and the squares of texture ended up looking like a bad craft project gone wrong. YUK.

The wrinkling, wobbling layers did not match my vision of a unified surface.

Enter the rotary cutter. Because within each disaster is a masterpiece. They say.

I took the squares with me on vacation and added hand-stitched details. And, I really do like the way they look. They are intimate, abstract and multi-layered.

Upon return to the studio I saw the leftover piece of textured wrinkled cloth and decided I would combine it with a quilt I made (and never finished) 15 years ago. The combination of the white textured cloth and the subtly colored quilt was intriguing. Using both as raw materials I cut them, combined them, stitched over them and sewed it all together. One day it seemed great.

But the next day I realized it was all wrong.

Though I really do love all that texture, it was hard to focus on this piece. No center of interest, no pathway for the eyes.

So I got out the rotary cutter again.

Now I have these little “masterpieces” that are traveling across the design board asking for a home. I have some new ideas for them this week, and probably will have more ideas for them next week.

They say if the fabric is ugly, cut it up into small pieces.  If it’s still ugly, you haven’t cut it small enough. I don’t think these fabrics are ugly. But I do know that they haven’t found their permanent home yet.

It’s all about the process, they say.

Inspirations and year end insights

Inspirations all around. The spells generated by books, politics, nature, artists and musicians fuel my journey as I create my art. Here are some of my favorites for your end-of-year browsing pleasure.

Beastie Boy and His Pals will be part of the Stitched Dissent show at Christian Brothers University Beverly + Sam Ross Gallery in Memphis, TN January 10 - February 12

Theo Jansen creates spectacular strandbeasts of wood and plastic that come to life when exposed to the wind. I could watch them for hours. He says that he wants to put these animals out in herds on the beaches so that they can live their own lives. I think about my artwork as it travels into the world, living its own life. Check out his video explanations of how these beasts work. Fascinating.

Leo Ray gives us joy and play and commentary and history and calligraphy and dreamscapes in his Infinite Painting. His canvases are all the same size and each one abuts the previous one to add to the inner dialog he is translating for us. There is a wonderful slide show of the painting you can visit with this link. The work ranges from abstract to cubist to surreal to realistic, freely combining texture, rhythm and color over the surfaces. There are over 100 canvases to date. He calls it a “public-access diary”. And isn’t that what all artists do when creating their work — releasing the inner to the outer?

Ragnar Kjartansson’s, The Visitors, left me spellbound when I saw his nine-screen performance at the Columbus Art Museum in Ohio. The performance combines video, music and poetry in a way that I have never before experienced. I floated through the space with a longing, a sadness, and a joy that stays with me to this day. This video link doesn’t really do justice to the experience in person. If you can imagine walking into a room with nine huge screens each showing one of the musicians and their instruments in separate rooms of a historic mansion you might get an inkling of the experience. The music builds and ebbs. The musicians move in and out of the rooms. I am still humming this evocative tune 2 years later.

As for me? I put together this little movie of the work I have done this year. It was a great year. I finished 14 pieces and I’m in process on three more. I led a 3-month festival (Stitched: Celebrating the ART of Quilting) in Memphis, taught three week-long workshops (Quilting By the Lake, Focus on Fiber and Art Quilt Tahoe), and took a brilliant workshop by Michael Brennand-Wood at the Shakerag Workshops in Sewanee, TN. I had a solo show at the Rockland Art Center in West Nyack, NY and created a proposal for a show devoted to our political realities (Stitched Dissent) that will travel to two different venues in 2020. Just in time for the vote.

Please vote in 2020.

Here’s a little summary slideshow that highlights some of my favorite moments.

Insights?

I know that I am inspired by reading. Reading feeds my inner voice and gives my artwork ballast. I know that I need to find beauty in everything to keep myself grounded. I know that sometimes my mind will not rest until I have worked things out in stitch. I know that the challenges ahead in our government, our environment and our health will affect the way I think and work. I feel like time is condensing and I am breathless and restless with the ticking sound of not enough hours in the day. I know that I need to learn to rest.

Best in stitches to you all. Thank you for taking the time to read thoughts .

All the Usual Suspects

Cutting quilts up to create new ones is an intuitive and challenging enterprise. It lends a sense of danger to the workspace. I am constantly reminding myself to let it go. In other words, no matter how many hours it took me to create a piece if it doesn’t please me any more then it is a candidate for the rotary cutter. I just have to let it go and move into the realm of the unfinished.

Let me introduce you to The Usual Suspects. They are named Presto-chango, Caught Red-Handed, Empty Rhetoric and Sideshow. They are a compilation of many scraps of stitching-gone-wrong, stitching-gone-right-but-in-the-wrong-place, or, stitching-for-the-hell-of-it-and-now-what-do-I-do-with-it bins. Those bins supply just the raw materials I need when nothing else suits. They make me feel good about that re-use, re-cycle and re-do mentality I try to foster.

The Usual Suspects.: Presto-chango, Caught Red-Handed, Empty Rhetoric and Sideshow. Each panel measures 40” x 13”, Paula Kovarik

And here are some detail shots.

Using units like squares, triangles and diamonds reminds me of traditional quilts and mosaic tile work. In this second piece I cut up a quilt into 2” squares and rearranged it into a new configuration. It doesn’t have a name. I’ll have to study it a bit before I commit to it.

I'm thinking about working up a lesson plan for this cutting up practice. Perhaps a 4 or 5-day workshop? If you are interested drop me a note and I'll try to figure out how I can get us all together.

Pattern work, 50.5” x 9”, canvas, batting and thread. Paula Kovarik

Ups and downs

Every so often I wake up with a word list in my mind. It happened a month ago at 3 am. It happened last week at midnight and it happened this morning at 5 am. The list is a series of verbs that contrast each other. I have a note pad at the side of my bed so that I can write down my dreams. Sometimes I have enough consciousness to do that. Other times I lay there and try to memorize the thoughts so that I can write them down when I wake up. It never works. My dreaming mind is a white board with an automatic eraser.

Here’s a list from that 3 am wake up call a month ago:

  • shake up/shake down

  • let up/let down

  • write up/write down

  • bring up/bring down

  • lock up/lock down

  • dress up/dress down

  • play up/play down

  • stand up/stand down

  • step up/step down

The thing I notice about this list is how different the meaning of the primary verb is when using the up modifier as opposed to the down modifier. No surprise there. Up is the opposite of down right? But here’s the thing: both can be negative. For example, shake up can imply agitation and anxiety while shake down implies an illegal act. On the other hand using the word up is often positive as in dress up, let up and stand up while using the word down almost always connotes a negative spin. Obviously, I am no linguist. But it intrigues me that my brain is listing these phrases for contemplation.

Why do I dream these things? I think it is a sorting of synapses to process the negative and positive things in life. My work reflects these dichotomies. I will start an “up” stitching and inevitably the “down” sneaks in. Monsters, snakes and cynical grins sit side by side with Seuss-like trees and decorative leaf patterns. Juggling the positive with the negative is part of my exploration as an artist.

What I really wonder about is: Can I do art that is beautiful and uplifting without adding the spice of the down stroke? Do my doubts, worries and anxieties always have to show up?

On another note

I had a great time at Art Quilt Tahoe this month. The setting was spectacular and my students left me awestruck with their work. Thank you Roxanne, Linda, Ileana, Carol, Gay, Nancy, Sandra, Terry, Jacquie, Diane and Marion for making my job so easy. And, thank you Judy, for inviting me.